I am, once again, overflowing with thoughts and various observations. Try to keep up.

All my life (and especially this past year or so,) I thought I knew what it felt like to have joy in Christ. But I had no idea. The joy I've been experiencing these past two weeks or so is almost indescribable. "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost (Romans 15:13.)" It seems like no matter what type of situation I'm involved in, I'm able to find a way to smile about it and to praise God through it. I've also increased in my thankfulness. Even when I suffer, I still feel very grateful that God loves me enough to teach me a lesson. Like the Bible says in Romans 8:28, "all things work together for good." I believe that God can work through rough situations and show us something we didn't know about ourselves and those around us. When I think about how true that statement can be, my heart overflows with joy and gratitude and I can't help but smile.

When I was younger, my mom made sure me and Jared knew what to do in case of an emergency. "Listen to my instructions the first time. Don't ask why because I'll know why and I won't have time to explain it to you." People who have authority over us often know information about situations that we couldn't possibly understand. This is how it is with God. It's such an incredible truth to swallow, but God already knows everything that's going to happen in my life. He knows the things I'll struggle with, the things I'll have triumph over, and the reasons why I'll suffer. God knows what college I'm going to attend and what my major is going to be. God knows who I'm going to marry and he already knows what I'm going to name my kids. He knows everything about my future, things that I couldn't even imagine. That's why when God leads me to do something, it's very important that I obey Him. "Trust in Him at all times, ye people, pour out your heart before Him (Psalms 68:2.)" It might not be easy and I probably won't understand, but God has a plan for my life and He will reveal it in time.

I've always been under the impression that once you learn something about God or take something to Him in prayer, you don't have to do it again. I figured once was enough. However, I was very wrong. There are so many things I have to pray about and remind myself of daily to make sure my heart is where it needs to be. It's a constant restoring process. "Though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16.)" When I think about how "easy" it would be to do things I want to do and live life my own way, I remind myself that God's will is perfect. Another thing I have to tell myself over and over again is this: it's not all about me anymore. It's about God and everything I say and do should reflect that. If my motives are to impress others by glorifying myself, I need to recognize that my attitude is in the wrong place, pray about it, and change it.

God is the ultimate friend. I have recently discovered both the comfort and power of prayer. My favorite time of day is any time I get to sit down and talk to God. "As for me, I will call upon God and the Lord shall save me. Evening and morning and at noon will I pray and cry aloud, and he shall hear my voice (Psalms 55:16-17.)" I love telling Him about my day, how I'm feeling, and what I'm struggling with.. even though He already knows. I can feel our relationship growing more and more every time I open my heart to Him and that's such so exciting to me.

Every time I walk past our kitchen sink full of dirty dishes, I feel sad and appreciative. I feel sad because I know that even after working a long, hard day at work, my mother will still wash them without asking any of the rest of us to lift a finger. She doesn't complain about doing the dishes every day, despite the fact that it's not her mess to clean up. At the same time, I'm appreciative because I know that I don't want to do the dishes.. and because my mom takes care of them, I don't have to. She scrubs hard and sees to it that all the food and dirt is washed away, even though she didn't dirty the plates. This directly relates to the way I feel about Jesus. I'm so sad that Jesus Christ died on the cross because of all the sins I've committed in my life. I don't think it's fair that He had to suffer for everything I've done wrong. But there's such a sense of gratitude there, too. If Jesus hadn't shed His blood for me, I'd be on my way to Hell right now without any hope of eternal life in Heaven. "In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace (Ephesians 1:7.)" Like the dirty dishes my mom washes, Jesus washed me white as snow. He gave me a clean slate. And I know that when I stumble and when I fall, all I have to do is ask for His forgiveness and I'm wiped clean again.

edit (1:45 am:) Once we've had the privilege of coming in contact with something (we consider) special over and over again, often times we start taking it for granted. Every day, we appreciate this special gift less and less for the beautiful and precious masterpiece it is. God recognizes the error we're making and, because He loves us so much, corrects us. God takes this "thing" that we once considered such a treause away from us for awhile so that we can realize what a blessing we really had. As the popular saying goes, "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone." God is so gracious in that He tries to help us do the right thing while we still have the opportunity. Nine times out of ten, if we're able to show God we've learned from our mistake and can prove to Him we'll be more appreciative of the special things He sprinkles throughout our lives.. I believe He'll give them back.